Humour Archives - Craig Bailey.net

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BinaryScript.net – A new language for low-level coders

BinaryScript.net – A new language for low-level coders

It’s rare these days for me to get excited about a new language – because frankly it seems as though there are so many new ones, and yet so little value that they provide.

Which is why it’s pleasantly surprising, on this quiet Monday morning, to see the release of a new scripting language that actually improves the development experience. I’m talking of course about Binary Script – the new language paradigm aimed squarely at experienced developers, but being embraced quickly by assembler and microcontroller coders.

To get a quick look at how it works, head over to the binaryscript.net site, it has the initial overview and online compiler components available already:

How It Works
The concept is very […]

By Craig Bailey|April 1st, 2013|Developers, Humour|0 Comments

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Microsoft Announces new language: Db.NET

Microsoft Announces new language: Db.NET

In a perhaps unsurprising move, Microsoft has chosen this Sunday to announce their latest .NET language: Db.NET
The release comes a day prior to the lang.next conference commencing in Seattle on Monday.

Dubbed as vNext.NET the language features a number of key enhancements including the new Ostinato Framework, Morendo Garbage Collection systems and Cantando Installer.

Read more about Db on the Next Language site, including the overview, tools and history of it’s development.

By Craig Bailey|April 1st, 2012|Humour, Microsoft|0 Comments

WordPad Zero Day exploit

OMG, panic! But don’t be distracted by that other zero day exploit (you know, the Internet Explorer one), here’s where your security gaze should be firmly focused: WordPad. It turns out that WordPad has a significant exploit. And by significant, I mean it affects at least one person. I strongly recommend WordPad users (both of you) stay glued to your browser screens (here) in anticipation of a high priority patch being released any day now. Alternatively, you could stop using WordPad… In all seriousness, there is now a patch for the Internet Explorer vulnerability. Download the patch from here. Technorati Tags: Armageddon

By Craig Bailey|December 17th, 2008|General, Humour, Link, Microsoft|0 Comments

Bogus tips for IT Managers

Any blog that has 4 Ps in its title is worth reading in my book. That aside, I’ve been reading Phil Factor’s Phrenetic Phoughts (oh hang on, that’s only 3 Ps – you tricked me with that clever similar sounding thing Phil) for years now. It’s always a classic read. And for managers like me, his tips are gold. Take his series on hints for aspiring IT managers. If I happen to find myself reading his posts on the train there’s a good chance people around consider me a raving loony as I unexpectedly crack up and laugh out loud. Recommended. Today’s moment: Project-management software is essential. This […]

By Craig Bailey|December 12th, 2008|Humour, Link|0 Comments

Do more with this Ad

I spotted this gem on MSDN tonight (yeah, slow night…). Above the annoying flashing ad was a link titled ‘Do more with this Ad’. You got me. I clicked it. Amazing, they’re after my feedback. They care about me. My opinion counts. I submitted my response, refreshed the page and waited expectantly for the refreshing change it would bring to my browsing experience. Can you guess what happened? Technorati Tags: MSDN,Absolutely nothing

By Craig Bailey|November 22nd, 2008|Humour, Link|0 Comments

TIP: How to be an annoying presenter #1 – the ZoomIt virus

I consider myself an average presenter. Not terrible, but not great. I’m working on being a great presenter. To this end, as well as working on what I should be doing, I’ve also been spending time analysing what should be avoided. Over the coming weeks and months I’ll be sharing a few tips on what not to do. Most of course are things I’ve been doing for years, and only recently woken up to. Some are gems I’ve seen in others. Some are like a bad flu going round… which brings me to my first tip today: Tip #1 : Using Zoomit != Great presentation The ZoomIt virus: I don’t know […]

By Craig Bailey|August 30th, 2008|Humour, Main|4 Comments

Advice for would-be CIOs

I don’t know if you read CIO magazine. I do because I plan on being a CIO in the next 5 years. Of course, I realise that reading a magazine won’t make you into a CIO, but it sure does highlight the skills you need to work on. Take last month’s edition for example. In the Generation Tech article, the following advice popped up (p37 June/July edition): “In part CIOs of the future will achieve alignment by securing explicit support for appropriate separation of concerns, ensuring that disruptive ‘burst through’ between IT and business domains does not occur outside control.” […]

By Craig Bailey|August 7th, 2008|Humour, Link|0 Comments

Microsoft Fiji naming fiasco – not the first time

Having your code name objected to is nothing new. This (possibly hoax) story about Fiji (the island nation) objecting to Microsoft’s use of ‘Fiji’ as a code name is nothing new. Most recently this happened when the Visual FoxPro team were releasing the Sedna Add-ons and received numerous complaints from the inhabitants of Neptune (via Mary Jo Foley) Technorati Tags: Sedna,Fiji

By Craig Bailey|June 30th, 2008|Humour, Link, Visual FoxPro|0 Comments

Gobbledygook – graphed

What a classic – David Meerman Scott analyses the use of meaning phrases by news services. Topping the list: 'next generation', 'robust' and 'world class'. See also his Gobbledygook Manifesto. Great stuff – perfect for your next game of wank bingo. Technorati Tags: Gobbledygook

By Craig|February 3rd, 2008|Humour|0 Comments

Political correctness link

Yep, I agree with Wayne that this is getting silly. Sesame Street being wound back due to all that harmful stuff they did in the 70s, 80s and 90s. No wonder this world is in such a mess But fear not, the pendulum swings both ways and in a decade or so we'll see the push back on political correctness going way too far the other way. In case I haven't mentioned it before, my favourite word is: balance We need balance in every areas of our lives. Life is often just a process of adjusting and re-adjusting the balance. It is, at any point in time, too far off to the left […]

By Craig|December 19th, 2007|Humour|0 Comments

Here comes another bubble v1.1

Not wanting to be the only person on the planet who hasn't linked to this, here's my late link. After some silly copyright hoo-haa last week, a revised version is up on YouTube. This time there's some bonus material – the credits (which will be read by a total of 4 people, maybe less . Technorati Tags: Here comes another bubble, Richter Scales

By Craig|December 19th, 2007|Humour|0 Comments

Stephen King loves Britney Spears

Well, not really. This wonderful interview with Stephen by Time magazine is a nice rebuke to what the media tells us is important news. IF the media is right about what is important to the public, then we should be making Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan the Time Persons of the Year. Or so claims Stephen. He makes a good point. Technorati Tags: Stephen King, Time Magazine, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan

By Craig|November 26th, 2007|Humour|0 Comments

Windows GMail

From Google Blogoscoped comes this gem on what GMail would look like if Microsoft had designed it. It's too close to reality to be funny… Technorati Tags: Microsoft GMail, Blogoscoped

By Craig|November 20th, 2007|Humour|1 Comment

Project Failure – How To Tip

Jason Yip eloquently captures the easiest way to derail a project. Technorati Tags: Jason Yip, Fail to prioritise

By Craig|November 19th, 2007|Humour|0 Comments

CLASSIC: Mark’s Infinite Solutions

This is seriously one of the funniest sites I have witnessed – I was in pain laughing at some of his amazing solutions. The attention to detail is priceless. The best IMO is his tip to increase WiFi strength, followed by his now famous How to Sign Up for GoogleTV Beta, but all of them are good. Mark Erickson is a genius. Even reading his blog is amusing. There are more of his videos on YouTube. Morgan Webb has the full behind-the-scenes story. Technorati Tags: Mark Erickson, Mark’s Infinite Solutions

By Craig Bailey|November 9th, 2007|Humour, Technology|0 Comments

Email scams still pull in the suckers

Anyone reading today's news article on an email scam involving the late Kerry Packer would probably smile at the humour of it all. After all, who falls for these grammatically incorrect, spelling mistake-ridden spamming irritations. Well, scroll down to the bottom of the article – apparently plenty of well informed Aussies do. Disturbingly, $500K a month is sent from Queensland alone into Nigerian bank accounts. And we call ourselves the clever country… Technorati Tags: Email scams

By Craig|November 5th, 2007|Humour|0 Comments

Online demo on how to use the mouse

Aleks at work sent this one around today – a demo on how to use the mouse. All you need to do is work out how to navigate through the web site and make it to the link and activate the link – all without using your mouse of course – in order to see the demo. Classic. Someone, somewhere is approving budget requests with the eagle-eyed financial scrutiny of the pointy haired manager – Dilbert is proven true yet again. Technorati Tags: Mouse demo

By Craig|October 22nd, 2007|Humour|0 Comments