Life is a series of experiences. Some experiences are good. Some are bad.
Life is also a series of relationships. Some relationships end well. Some endâ€¦ not so well. Of those that donâ€™t end well, itâ€™s only rarely that we get the chance to revisit them and find out what went wrong. To resolve them. To find closure.
This week I was fortunate enough to be given closure on a (business) relationship that went wrong a number of years ago. It had ended abruptly and badly, leaving me bewildered – floundering in self-doubt and guilt. A deeply significant event in my life.
But that all changed this week. In a brave move (for me at least) we met and talked. In fact, we talked until we had nothing more to say – we were talked out. And in the process I learnt a lot of things. Things Iâ€™d done wrong. Things Iâ€™d misunderstood. Things Iâ€™d never even imagined could have been perceived of me. Even things Iâ€™d assumed Iâ€™d done wrong but in fact hadnâ€™t. Some hurt. But overall it was a wonderful lifting of burden. A lingering psychological wound was finally cleansed. Closure. Itâ€™s a rare gift.
So as the fog lifts, the walls fall down, the dam breaks, a new day dawns, etc, etc, the only question I really ask is: why did I wait so long?
If thereâ€™s unfinished business in one of your former relationships, perhaps itâ€™s timeâ€¦