Iâ€™m going to try to cut down on my swearing.
My close friends will know I have a bit of problem with how much swearing and carrying on I do. Others will be surprised I guess, because I manage to put on an exterior of self control in this regard. But the â€˜realâ€™ me struggles with it.
Iâ€™m not sure why I swear so much, but I guess it has to do with a few things:
1. Wanting to call attention to myself
2. Lack of self-control
3. Lack of skills in being able to express myself well
4. Lack of personal respect for myself
Typical examples occur when Iâ€™m driving and I abuse the driver who is going slowly in front of me. The other main source is when I criticise myself for making a mistake â€“ I am very self-critical. While it is probably good to have a healthy self analysis and critique I tend to overdue and go very hard on myself for minor things. This in turn manifests itself in the way I â€˜judgeâ€™ others for their own minor mistakes.
Perhaps I think by criticising myself so strongly I am getting in first â€“ I greatly fear people criticising me, so I try to get in first and thus negate the need for anyone else to say something bad about me.
So, Iâ€™m going to concentrate on being more aware and realistic.
My main motivations for reducing the swearing are:
1. It doesnâ€™t help anyone (my close friends and family are not helped by my carrying on)
2. It makes me look like a fool â€“ how much respect do you have for someone who starts swearing just because they dropped a pen on the ground?
3. I want to be better example for people â€“ apart from my Christian beliefs which also impact this, is the general desire I have to be a leader/example to people such as my wife/brothers/nieces/nephews/godchildren
4. I want to respect myself more
5. I donâ€™t like to be controlled by bad habits