I’m going to try to cut down on my swearing.
My close friends will know I have a bit of problem with how much swearing and carrying on I do. Others will be surprised I guess, because I manage to put on an exterior of self control in this regard. But the ‘real’ me struggles with it.
I’m not sure why I swear so much, but I guess it has to do with a few things:
1. Wanting to call attention to myself
2. Lack of self-control
3. Lack of skills in being able to express myself well
4. Lack of personal respect for myself
Typical examples occur when I’m driving and I abuse the driver who is going slowly in front of me. The other main source is when I criticise myself for making a mistake – I am very self-critical. While it is probably good to have a healthy self analysis and critique I tend to overdue and go very hard on myself for minor things. This in turn manifests itself in the way I ‘judge’ others for their own minor mistakes.
Perhaps I think by criticising myself so strongly I am getting in first – I greatly fear people criticising me, so I try to get in first and thus negate the need for anyone else to say something bad about me.
So, I’m going to concentrate on being more aware and realistic.
My main motivations for reducing the swearing are:
1. It doesn’t help anyone (my close friends and family are not helped by my carrying on)
2. It makes me look like a fool – how much respect do you have for someone who starts swearing just because they dropped a pen on the ground?
3. I want to be better example for people – apart from my Christian beliefs which also impact this, is the general desire I have to be a leader/example to people such as my wife/brothers/nieces/nephews/godchildren
4. I want to respect myself more
5. I don’t like to be controlled by bad habits