Life is a series of experiences. Some experiences are good. Some are bad.
Life is also a series of relationships. Some relationships end well. Some end… not so well. Of those that don’t end well, it’s only rarely that we get the chance to revisit them and find out what went wrong. To resolve them. To find closure.
This week I was fortunate enough to be given closure on a (business) relationship that went wrong a number of years ago. It had ended abruptly and badly, leaving me bewildered – floundering in self-doubt and guilt. A deeply significant event in my life.
But that all changed this week. In a brave move (for me at least) we met and talked. In fact, we talked until we had nothing more to say – we were talked out. And in the process I learnt a lot of things. Things I’d done wrong. Things I’d misunderstood. Things I’d never even imagined could have been perceived of me. Even things I’d assumed I’d done wrong but in fact hadn’t. Some hurt. But overall it was a wonderful lifting of burden. A lingering psychological wound was finally cleansed. Closure. It’s a rare gift.
So as the fog lifts, the walls fall down, the dam breaks, a new day dawns, etc, etc, the only question I really ask is: why did I wait so long?
If there’s unfinished business in one of your former relationships, perhaps it’s time…