The best advice a boss ever gave me about people management was the following:

Your staff don't have to be your friends,
They don't event have to like you,
But they must respect you.

This does not mean that we can't be friends with some of our team. All people are different (in spite of what categorising we attempt to put in place) and so it is natural that some members will be friends and others not. However, this should have nothing to do with how much they respect you.

Since we come from a technical and developer background we often think the key to being respected is to be the smartest, or most technically knowledgeable or most experienced. Usually, however this is not the mark of a good manager.

The qualities of a good people manager include:
- They facilitate a work environment that enables developers to be as productive as possible
- They shield staff from all kinds of bureaucratic crap
- They understand what is going on in the lives of their team
- They guide (but don't solve) problems
- They make decisions (often difficult ones)

Nutshell: To be good people managers we need to be aware of what our team members need and provide it.

Respect = Morale
Respect for a software manager will be one of the biggest contributors to morale.
A team (or company) under seige will stick together under a leader they respect. This is not necessarily the case if their leader is just a mate.

Finally, it is most important you respect your team. It may be that you have earned the respect of your staff, but if you don't respect them in return, then your time as a manager is short lived.

(The usual adages about Respect - you earn it, you don't demand it etc - are all true)